The Senate’s healthcare bill is just one of the reasons I’m awake in the middle of the night, sipping warm milk, trying to believe enough people will do the right thing.

However it is a big one. I try not to judge people, but it’s hard not to consider certain politicians to be evil. Taking away healthcare is immoral and wrong. I believed that before I got cancer. I still believe it even though certain parties consider me, and those like to me, to be worthless drains on the system.

Please, call your senators, ask them to vote No, then ask your friends to do the same. I know that can be hard. I called while exhausted on Monday. I left a heartfelt plea for Portman because I believe Ohio is better than this and I’m a native Ohioan. I then asked a friend in CO to call her senator. It’s hard to put yourself out there. I know. It’s worth it though, to know you fought with everything you had. There’s more for me to do and I’m gearing up courage to directly ask Republican friends and family to make more calls, and especially to ask them to be open and public about their calls so as to influence their friends who I don’t know.

I’m lucky compared to many. I have ample evidence in my life of good, compassionate people who care about more than party lines. I have friends who have helped me apply for the benefits for which I’ve worked, and eased my guilt at not doing more to contribute to the good in the world. At 32 I planned to be helping the world and saving animals, not begging people to call their senators to fight for what should be basic rights.

I still believe in my deepest heart that I will come through this. I don’t know if I’ll simply be lucky and stay stable or if science will find an unlikely miracle that puts my cancer into remission. When, if, that day comes I know I’ll give back to the world again. I just need a chance to get there.